The Creator has blessed(?!) me with a savant, creative ability to make elaborate, complicated, humorous, personalized, respectful crossword puzzles about any person, place or thing: birthdays, bankruptcies, Bar Mitzvahs.

I have created custom crosswords for people famous and anonymous. I have made custom crossword puzzles for the actresses Jane Leeves and Nia Peeples; for the best surfer in the history of the world Kelly Slater; for the family of a Google CEO who shall remain nameless.

And I have made them for non-famous people, even businesses.

Why? Well I never understood why I could do that until I read a book about code-breakers. Turns out it’s ancestral. Hereditary. In the brain DNA. Maternal grandfather:

During World War II, The London Times and The New York Times held regular crossword puzzle contests and the winners were contacted by British and American intelligence services and recruited as code-breakers.

My grandfather Clifton Tuttle was a physicist who worked for Kodak who also helped crack the Japanese Purple Naval Code - which lead to victory at the Battle of Midway and eventually Victory in the Pacific.

And which lead to Grandpa Clifton getting a commendation from the Navy.

So, the code-breaking cranium is the crossword cranium and here is your chance to use my weird brain to create a custom present for birthdays, bankruptcies and Bar Mitzvahs that really are very cool and unexpected.

I recently made a custom crossword for an 87-year-old Malibu woman named Paula. I drew information from her friends Victoria and Arline and also information and photos from some of Paula’s 10,439,103 cousins, nieces, nephews and other kin back in Missouri.

With those clues I created a complex crossword that was 80% about Paula’s long life - from nun to married woman living la dolce vita in Malibu. I then handed off the puzzle and the visuals to Joni Casimiro, an art director I worked with at SURFER Magazine. Joni worked her magic and we printed the crossword at 12” x 22” for solving and 20” x 30” - suitable for framing.

Victoria presented the puzzle to Paula over espresso martinis at Mastro’s Malibu and she sniffled a little at all the memories there before her - and the sheer challenge of the puzzle. I don’t make them easy.

This is what that looked and sounded like:

THE CO$T

I know what you’re thinking: “Wow a custom crossword puzzle would be a thoughtful, unforgettable present for ______!!!!! This guy is great!!! Can we afford him?”

THE PUZZLE = $200 - $500

I’ve been paid everywhere from $zero to $500 for these custom crosswords. I prefer the $500 but that might be too much for a lot of people.

I usually say “Pay what your aloha allows,” but I think $200 - $300 is a fair price for the creation of the puzzle, because they do take time. A couple of days. Usually a week or less.

I do these fast. It’s weird.

ART DESIGN = $0 TO $150

Joni charges $100 to $150 to lay it out depending on degree of difficulty. Or if you know a graphic designer, we can send the puzzle and clues and visuals and they can do it.

ADDITIONAL ILLUSTRATIONS = $200 - $1000+

And if you want to get fancy and order custom illustrations by Ariel Medel or your own people, that is an additional cost.

We will work with you on the cost. These puzzles are cool and forever-appreciated.

THE COLLABORATIVE CREATIVE PROCESS

It’s easier to do a custom crossword for well-known people because there is so much information about them online. It’s still good to collaborate with the husband/family/friends of the person receiving the puzzle, because the more personal it is, the better it is.

If you decide to order one of these puzzles I will send a questionnaire looking for as much raw information about the person as possible: Nicknames, names of pets, favorite movie, hometown, schools attended, accomplishments, spouses and children, favorite color/song/movie/sports team.

And then I build the puzzle, which can happen fast some times but usually only takes a couple of days. I also collect photos and other visuals to decorate the puzzle.

Once it’s all collected we send it to Joni or an art director of your choice. They do a layout, you tweak it or approve it, and that’s that.

We print ours at CostCo and they look good, and can be filled out with pencil or pen.

What to get for the Word Nerd who has everything? A custom crossword puzzle - because it’s all about them.

For more information, email thebenmalibu@gmail.com or call 424 422-8435.

Thanks. These are fun and unforgettable.

A truly unique, thoughtful, one-of-a-kind present.

And we will work with you on cost.

Thank you.