On August 5, 2022 Malibu City Council candidate Andy Lyon was involved in a characteristically sad incident on a small, crummy day at First Point/Surfrider Beach Malibu.
This is a YouTube link to the Burn Heard 'Round the World:
Enhancing the audio, Angry Andy can be heard on the beach shouting angrily as he pounds a defenseless surfboard into submission: ”AGE IS JUST A NUMBER!!! IF I WANT TO BE A 59-YEAR-OLD IMMATURE VIOLENT PUNK, NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!!!”
The incident got national attention. You can see it and read all about it on the beachgrit.com link, but in essence: Andy dropped in on and rode in front of a guy of unknown age who was just out at Malibu to have fun in the sun and not have to deal with some cranky old entitled codger who reckons he owns the place because he never left town.
A confrontation on the beach after. Andy with his back to the camera, is tuned up by the surfer he burned.
Andy swooped the dude, rode in front of him, did a cutback and might just have caused the dude to lose his board.
After Andy swooped the guy, he stormed into the beach, used a rock or something to hole the guy's board, then swam it out to sea and forced the guy - most likely decades Andy's junior - to swim for his screwed-up board.
A grown man whining like a baby? Impossible!
Andy ripped the guy's stick. The Surf Punks would be proud!
To paraphrase A Clockwork Orange: "This was age, having a go at youth." This is a 59-year-old father of five doing that to a much younger person.
Over a nothing wave on a lackluster day at Malibu - on a day when there shouldn't have been a discouraging word.
When visitors just want to enjoy the surf and the sun and not have to worry about getting charged by an entitled Oompa Loompa.
Or maybe Chinatown, "Forget it, Jake. It's Malibu."
Nope. Not these days. Nothing is forgotten anymore.
This is a #metube incident. #meyoutube? Whatever.
The video went viral, and Andy was fired from his realtor job with The Agency.
Ooops, he did it again. Will Malibu move forward with one less realtor? He can always teach yoga.Or give surf lessons with a focus on etiquette.
Aware that he had completely screwed up and might not be employable and/or laughed/escorted out of the City Council chambers, Andy tried to explain/justify his actions on Beachgrit.com.
But only managed to embarrass himself further by dropping more F-bombs than America dropped fire bombs on Japan and Germany together during World War II. And trying to justify the unjustifiable.
It’s something in the eyes. Now I know I hate him. This is the fate that can befall bullies and cowards - ideally.
If you love a bully, you love Andy. If you hate a bully and think all bullies are cowards, you don’t love Andy. But sometimes bullies get what’s comin’ to ‘em.
Beyond losing his job and reducing the number of Malibu realtors by one to 145,901,234, civil and uncivil lawsuits and a possible banning by Los Angeles County Department of Beaches and Harbors are bubbling on the horizon.
You are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity. Farewell!
Anyone who has surfed Malibu in the last 40+ years has seen this sort of dickish, entitled behavior over and over and over and over and over and over.
And they're over it.
But now evidence of this kind of dumb, entitled violence is permanently etched on video and the kelp is hitting the fan.
Yep. Best line from a movie that maybe didn’t deserve the Best Picture Oscar: “You embarrass me. You embarrass yourself.”
Fin is hitting the kelp. Whatever.
Remember this at election time.
Or if you're thinking of buying or selling real estate.
Or want to enjoy a small, crummy day at First Point in peace and quiet and not have to deal with an angry little Napoleon who reckons he owns the place.
Aloha.
But enough of this trouble and strife. Now let's rock with The Surf Punks. They know what’s up!!!! Not cool to rip someone’s stick: