To paraphrase Spinal Tap, “It’s a thin line between clever and vulgar.”
And that is true for the Pooperazzi Collection.
There are a lot of famous people kicking around Malibu, a place they come for peace and quiet out of the limelight.
The unwritten law of Malibu is: “Leave them alone.”
If you’re sitting next to Pam Anderson or Dick van Dyke or Flea and they spill a cup of hot coffee on you: “Leave them alone.”
Malibu is home, it’s where they come to chill. They don’t like to be pestered every two minutes by people asking for autographs or money or selfies - leave ‘em alone.
It’s also considered gauche and bad form to stick a camera in the face of celebrities.
So this collection of photos of Malibu celebrities was all done with their backs turned - mostly - while they weren’t looking. On the sly.
Clever or creepy? It’s a thin line.
Here is a Pooperazzi slideshow, but to make it fun, the names are hidden to protect the private. Maybe there will be hints along the way.
Guess who! Don’t sue!!!!!
He likes to tell dumb jokes. Tonight he asked a bunch of Pepperdine girls: “How do you get an 80-year-old woman to yell the F word?”
“Tell another 80-year-old woman to yell Bingo!”
Hardy har har.
A few weeks later it came out she and her husband were being blackmailed by a maid. I think these dudes were lawyers or security or something.
Malibu resident, married to a well-known actress.
She sat there for a while doing press for A___ I___ W____ then I think she saw me taking photos and split. She’s great in T___ C____
Malibu resident. Played a dummy on TV but he’s no dummy. Won some Oscars.
If you grew up in Santa Cruz in the 1980s and followed sports, this guy might as well be God.
The one guy leapt over a car in the end zone while playing for T___ S_____. Behind him is the guy who was driving for O____ J____.
Lived in a Paradise Cove mobile home while raising her two sons, who are both surfers. She’s nice and smarter than she lets on. Recently moved back home.
One of these dudes was a stuntman in Jaws and used to date Lana Turner.
Is that Jessie’s girl?
Maybe that’s Jessie’s girl, or Jessie’s new boy?
The guy sitting on the right in the hat wrote B____ W____ with the guy standing in the red hat, which reads MAKE SURFING GREAT AGAIN.
The guy sitting on the left was in B______ W______
I broke the Unwritten Law and asked him about a benefit he did with C____ in Santa Cruz in the 1970s. He remembered. They got a candidate named Camacho in trouble because all the families showed up and they did their raunchiest material.
Same dude, at Bui, with his much younger wife. I said, “Do you remember the benefit for Camacho?” He rolled his eyes and said, “Yep.” I said, “You got in trouble.” He said, “No CAMACHO got in trouble.” and he was right, It was a mini-scandal.
The bird-stained seats and tables of Malibu Kitchen are a funny place for this well-known germophobe.
Tall for an actor. I showed him Nine Sons in a Row because the main character was written for him, and he’s from Minnesota and likes baseball.
It's spelled just like it sounds!!!!!
He may or may not be Dreamy.
But his car….
An original Gull Wing Mercedes is definitely dreamy.
She doesn’t actually drive a mini. She’s very nice and funny.
She’s the daughter of the next guy in the slideshow. I wondered what happened to her. She won an Oscar and then kind of disappeared. Know what happened to her? Harvey Weinstein wrecked her career. May he rot in jail, then in hell. She is very nice and truly pretty.
Father of the previous slide. He really wanted to be recognized but no one really did. He was great in G___ F____
Bronco lover. Used to live on Malibu Road. Supposed to be a jerk in real life….
But truly played one of the funniest characters in the history of television in E______.
Outsiders think the owner of Malibu Kitchen inspired the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld but that’s just mean. The guy in front wrote that episode of Seinfeld. The people behind him both starred in very very popular TV shows.
This was at the Whole Foods on Lincoln and Rose in Venice. He looked pretty bad.
He’s funny in person, too.
Stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I can do. A QT favorite. He was talking to his bankruptcy attorney this day.
A famous driver.
Big Wednesday writer on the right. Bid Wednesday start on the left. At a memorial for J___ M___ V____
Cuckoo eyes. Stuck like a deer in the headlights.
The guy on the right ain’t a guy no more.
And it’s a little odd.
He robot.
This guy starred in a movie that was stolen from moi.
Lost his house in the Woolsey Fire.
Played a battle-crazed soldier in a war movie.
Well-known surfer girl at Bui.
Famous movie reviewer.
The horror. The horror.
Malibu native. Very funny in Californication.
McDreamy’s bicycle. He’s a gearhead.
What a Way To Go! Babe.
He told Pepper Potts: “Run down to Cross Creek and get me a coffee.”
Seinfeld’s yellow Ferrari Dino, the same day he wanted to buy Larry Balma’s yellow Lamborghini Miura S.
Vampires planning their blood wedding in Malibu.
He bumped his noggin and still got the Gold.
He’s got talent, but he’s not American.