Ben Marcus Rules

FADE IN

EXT. FROM LAS VEGAS TO MALIBU - 200 MILES IN :02

Malibu Fire is all about firestorms and firestorms are all about Santa Ana winds so the show begins, as the Los Angeles is Burning theme song says, “Somewhere high in the desert near a curtain of blue:” High over the desert, 8000 feet above Las Vegas at the genesis of a gust of Santa Ana winds, the air accelerates as it descends and heats up 5 degrees for every 1000 feet of height. The air passes the Stratosphere Tower and the Eiffel Tower at the Paris Casino and the Luxor Pyramid then out of the strip and high over the irrigated faux-green suburban density of Las Vegas.

Up and over Mount Charleston through beautiful downtown Pahrump then speeding over 100 miles of dry, empty desert to the southern edge of Death Valley, another 45 miles to Baker and then following Highway 15 for 55 miles to Barstow. (Could there still be wildflowers on Memorial Day? That would look even cooler. And what about that solar turbine deal at Tonopah? Worth a pass?) From Barstow more desert, over the restricted air space of Edwards Air Force Base (unlikely) and more desert to Lancaster.

Out of the brown and into the green of the Angeles National Forest - maybe past Mount Baldy - along the ridge west then down into Altadena and Pasadena, over the Rose Bowl and other landmarks, and 30 miles to beautiful downtown Burbank and the faux-green and the huddled masses all crammed together 7000 per square mile in the Los Angeles Basin. 

Zizzing past the Hollywood Sign then over Mount Lee into the even denser San Fernando Valley, outrunning stalled traffic on the 101. (Important to show the crammed suburban sameness of the Valley as it’s an ongoing theme in the rest of the story.)

The wind turns left/south past Malibu Creek State Park and drops into the entrance to Malibu Canyon. It  winds along Malibu Canyon Road racing cars and motorcycles, passes through the tunnel, then drops off the road and down to Malibu Creek at brush level. It goes over the falls at Rindge Dam down to the pool and then speeds the last three miles out of Malibu Canyon and along Malibu Creek, maybe up and directly through Scott Gillen’s New Castle overlooking Malibu, then down past Serra Retreat, along Cross Creek Road. 

Los Angeles is Burning sings about “Palm trees are dancing in the murder wind,” and that is true as the wind blows through palm trees still scorched by the Woolsey Fire. The wind hits the SHELL sign so hard it shuts off the S and turns the sign to HELL - a warning about the impact of the Devil Winds. 

The wind blows through a red light, rocks a RED SQUAD TRUCK from Station 00 headed west on PCH then blows out toward the Malibu Pier and through the lineup at Surfrider Beach/First Point Malibu - where a surfer takes off on a decent wave and pulls into the tube shaped by those Devil Winds. The wind passes that surfers and heads out to a wind-troubled sea.

A wild 200+ mile ride from high in the desert to sea level as we catch our breath there is a…

(Fred North www.fred-north.com or Instagram: Fred_north has done tricky helicopter cinematography for lots of shows going back to 1996. Saw him online so asked for a quote. He said: “The helicopter will be an Airbus H125 so very powerful and fast. The flight from Vegas to LA is about 2.5 hours in a straight line so if we were to film the whole thing with the right light I will suggest a two-day shoot. Between the ferry, the shoot, the camera system, the crew and flight permits I will say around $150k . Schedule will be: - Day 1 : Rig camera system in LA - Day 2 : Ferry the 2 ships to Vegas - Day 3 : Shoot - Day 4: Shoot - Day 5: Derig)

CUT TO

EXT ALONG PCH WITH LITTLE RED, THE SQUAD FOR STATION 00 - DAY

In contrast to all the blue sky and ocean, LITTLE RED is the bright red “squad” - a modified GMC truck used to transport hoses, fire-fighting gear, paramedic gear. The squad is rolling east on PCH, passing Surfrider Beach toward Point Dume, visible in the distance. It’s a typically blue, beautiful but abnormally, out of season windy Santa Ana day along the California Riviera on the cusp of spring and summer.

CUT TO 
INT.   THE CAB OF LITTLE RED - DAY

MUNOZ (30) is a Latina (Hawaiian?) engineer with her eyes on the road and her hands upon the wheel because next to her is “el jefe” = CAPTAIN PEABODY (50), the fearless leader of Station 00.

One of the silent gags of Malibu Fire is all the fire-fighters are movie-star handsome/pretty and live up to Nia Peeples' quote: “In Malibu when you call the fire department, you get the Chippendale Dancers.”

Captain Peabody is lean, tan, groomed, silver-bearded and could be a Viagra model. He is singing.

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Blue skies, smiling at me.
Nothing but blue skies, around me.

Munoz smiles quietly to herself.

MUNOZ 
Santa Anas in the morning, fire fighters take warning.

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Bit early for the Devil Winds no?

MUNOZ
Or late. Everything's screwy these days.

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Climate change. 

MUNOZ
Global warming.
Dónde vamos, Jefe? Anything interesting? 

CAPTAIN PEABODY
If brush inspections are interesting,
then today will be fascinating. 
Got a call from out on Dume: A shark.

MUNOZ
A shark?

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Something about a shark.

MUNOZ
Aye cabron. Tee - bah - roan!

OVERVIEW

EXT. FROM CORRAL CANYON TO POINT DUME - DAY

Back in the air again following Little Red along Pacific Coast Highway then left onto a road leading into Point Dume. What was once as dry and treeless as all that desert the opening shot passed over is now the Garden of Eden - fancy houses hiding behind beautiful landscaping, walls and gates. The squad passes burned homes, scorched trees, vacant lots and still-standing fireplaces consumed by the Woolsey Fire and not yet rebuilt.  Quite a few burned out places, almost like a recovering war zone.

CUT TO

EXT. A GUARD GATE ON POINT DUME DAY
Captain Peabody and Munoz are in Little Red, facing-off a GATE GUARD. Captain Peabody speaks decent Californio surfer/dishwasher/gardener Spanglish.

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Buenas dias.

GATE GUARD 
Qué onda?

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Como siempre. Mucho trabajo, poco dinero.

GATE GUARD  (smiling and nodding)
Si, la misma.

MUNOZ 
We are responding to a call from the house.

GATE GUARD
I have to call the house.

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Jefe, I think you can trust us.

When Munoz is annoyed she speaks rapid-fire, angry Spanish.

MUNOZ
Somos bomberos.
Esto no es una emergencia, pero ¿y si fuera?

GATE GUARD
Por favor espera… Please wait while I call.

Munoz and Peabody roll their eyes while the Guard talks on the phone.

CUT TO

EXT. A FANCY HOUSE OVERLOOKING THE PACIFIC OCEAN DAY

The squad is parked in the lavish driveway of a lavish house on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Munoz and Peabody walk toward the front-door which opens magically.

MUNOZ
Is this....

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Yep.

MUNOZ
You think he’s…

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Hope not.

CUT TO

EXT. THE BACKYARD OF A FANCY POINT DUME HOUSE DAY

Munoz and Peabody are escorted by A SECURITY GUARD to the backyard of a beautiful home overlooking the ocean looking east on the cliffs between Little Dume and Big Dume.  A SHIRTLESS MAN is sitting in the lotus position overlooking the ocean. As Munoz stands behind Captain Peabody, MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY (Or FLEA who really did lose a house in 2007. He’s playing a bass or and/or trumpet and playing it good) cusses, does an angry, quick bongo roll (or Taps) and jumps up.

MCCONAUGHEY
Dangit!

Captain Peabody's hopes are dashed and he shields Munoz as the agitated McConaughey stands holding bongos which don’t really conceal that he is naked as a jaybird. 

MUNOZ (not batting an eye)
Malibu Fire, sir. We got a call?

CAPTAIN PEABODY

Something about a shark?

MCCONAUGHEY
Yeah it was a shark! It was a great big huge shark. 
It looked like an Escalade with teeth. 
Right out there. In my backyard!

McConaughey points off toward the ocean, where SURFERS, STANDUP PADDLERS and SWIMMERS are frolicking in clear, blue water laced with kelp. 

CAPTAIN PEABODY
It could have been a basking shark, sir.
Or maybe a whale?

MCCONAUGHEY  (fast and agitated)
Wasn’t nothing like a whale.
I watch Discovery. I know a shark:
two huge fins and the water off its
back like a submarine. Inside the seaweed.
Thought I was gonna witness an attack.  
That’s why I called. Now it’s gone! 

CAPTAIN PEABODY

Mr. McConaughey, is it?

MCCONAUGHEY

Jaws scared the heck out of me when I was a kid,
but that was Texas...  Now I’m surfin’ all the time… 
My wife and kids swim out there
when it’s warm and it’s warming up.

MUNOZ
Mr. McConaughey, if there’s...

MCCONAUGHEY
Y’all can call me Matthew by the way.  
Ever’ time you say “Mr. McConaughey” I miss my dad.

CAPTAIN PEABODY

... if you could photograph the shark we could ID it.  
If it’s a basking shark... they eat plankton.

MCCONAUGHEY

Oh you don’t say. A vegan shark? Only in Malibu. 
Maybe I’ll ask one of my friendly neighborhood
paparazzi. They got those damned drones now.
And I gotta shark problem.  The size of that sucker…

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Well if it is a white shark, it’s worth worrying about. 
Two UCLA students disappeared while kayaking in 1989.  
The woman was found floating up in Ventura with a shark bite to her thigh and they never found the man.

MUNOZ  (pointing east)
And in 2010 two guys got jumped
by a big shark about a mile off Cher’s house. 
Vic and Joe. Joe was a lifeguard then
and he’s a firefighter now.
Joe charged that beast, punched it out
and saved Vic from getting chomped.
 I saw the GoPro. Cojones! Joe got the Medal of Valor.

MCCONAUGHEY 
Is that right?  Well the realtor didn’t say nothin’
about white sharks when she showed this house. 
I woulda knocked off a couple million…

CAPTAIN PEABODY
I wonder if that was Miss July?

MCCONAUGHEY 
Miss July? The real estate lady was Miss July? 
She coulda been a Playboy bunny but now…

CAPTAIN PEABODY

No, sorry. There’s a female white shark
that shows up in July. 
Not just July - the third week of July.
If that’s Miss July, she’s early.

MUNOZ
But everything's screwy these days.

MCCONAUGHEY

Global warming.

CAPTAIN PEABODY
Climate change.

MCCONAUGHEY

Miss July… I had to buy this place after you guys
 let my other house burn during Woolsey.

That casts a pall over the conversation. This naked movie star has derailed from kvetching about a shark to snarking about the Woolsey Fire. They’ve heard it all before. They’re tired of hearing it but they have to be polite.

CAPTAIN PEABODY
We’re sorry about your house but those firestorms
are like a flaming tsunami. There’s no way to stop the advance of the fire and you would need an army of men
and machines to protect every house.

MCCONAUGHEY
Well as I was driving my lovely wife and
strangely calm kids through fire twisters and Dante's Inferno I saw a whole lotta your guys
standing around with their fingers up their… 
… in their ears. Not a good look. 

Captain Peabody is starting to smoke from his ears, so Munoz casts oil on the waters using a Texasism.

MUNOZ
The whole thing was a fu…
a wreck from one end to the other.
A perfect storm. 

MCCONAUGHEY

Perfect shitstorm, pardon my Texan.

MUNOZ

Half of California was up fighting the Camp Fire.
There was another fire in Ventura that started before Woolsey that looked like it would be worse.

CAPTAIN PEABODY

But then Woolsey blew up with the wind
and came over the mountains. And we don’t like
to admit it, but when the wind is blowing, 
we aren’t gonna halt the advance of the fire. 
You’d have to pick up the Pacific Ocean
and flip it upside down.

MCCONAUGHEY
I was in that house for two months.
Took me five years to get it built.
Two months and then - ffffttttt -
gone in 60 minutes. Less. Just GONE!

CAPTAIN PEABODY
We learned from Woolsey, Mr. McConaughey.
It was a mess. We like to think we have
nature under control but in that case… no.
But we’ve learned. We’re learning.

MCCONAUGHEY
Marble floors, stainless steel everything,
stone walls and just disappeared. Gone.

MUNOZ
We’re sorry about your house Mr. McConaughey.
I remember that house. We did a brush inspection.
It was gorge...

MCCONAUGHEY
Was. Past tense. Well it still stings.
I woulda fought it myself If I’da known.
Once burned, twice shy.
I spent a ton on fire-fighting gear for this place. 
Got a Hainy Hydrant and a pump for the pool.
And you don’t wanna know
what the fire insurance is….

MUNOZ
But look at what you have here.
Look at that view!

The view is spectacular across the kelp-speckled ocean to the rugged mountains of the California Riviera and beyond to Santa Monica, Palos Verdes and even Catalina. It’s a Santa Ana day so it’s crystal clear.

MCCONAUGHEY
Yeah I have a great view of a one-ton white shark
prowling my backyard. Now I guess I gotta buy
oneathem harpoon cannons or a laser or something.
Hire some Navy SEALS.

MUNOZ
But Mr. McCona… Matt. Matthew.
White sharks are a federally protected species. 
We're the fire department.
There really isn't much we can do. 

Captain Peabody needs to cool off. He sees an oversized old school Naval binoculars on a tripod.

CAPTAIN PEABODY (Cockney, like Lock Stock…)
Buy-knock-yo-lahrs.

He wanders off to have a look, leaving Munoz and McConaughey.

MUNOZ
Nice back here.

MCCONAUGHEY
Love it. Private. Gates and trees and walls and cliffs
made it paparazzi-proof or so I thought
- now those damned drones. 
Now just gotta make it shark proof. 

MUNOZ
I feel you. I have coyote and mountain
lion where I live and if there was a 14 foot, thousand pounder prowling my backyard, I'd be poco loco.

MCCONAUGHEY 
I caught a whiff of Texas
in your otherwise refined speech.
You said “wreck.”

MUNOZ
Fort Hood and Joint Base Bullis.

MCCONAUGHEY
Thought so. I shouldn't get in your Capitan's
face like that but man. You lose a house in Malibu
and it's a world of hurt. Time and money.

MUNOZ
We get that all the time. Every day.
People drive by and flip us off.
Someone graffitied Big Red!

MCCONAUGHEY
Big Red?

MUNOZ
Our engine. My engine. Tagged it!
They turned the Double Aughts
into Double Naughts!

MCCONAUGHEY

Your Captain always that Mr Know It All-like?

MUNOZ
We call him Captain Google. 
If he ever challenges you to play 
Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit or Jeopardy! -
especially for money - just say “Nothankyou!”

MCCONAUGHEY
Roger that.

MUNOZ

Birthday party for Captain Peabody
tonight at the Old Place.   Nine o’clock. Show face. 
You’d be more than welcome.

MCCONAUGHEY
Old Place! I like that place. I’m Texan. 
Beef! It's what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

MUNOZ
Baked potatoes the size of footballs.

MCCONAUGHEY
Glad Old Place didn’t burn up. 

MUNOZ

That place was ground zero. Morgan saved it.

MCCONAUGHEY (singing)

Should I stay and risk my ass or should I go now?

MUNOZ

If you stay there will be trouble.

MCCONAUGHEY

Can I show up plus one?

MUNOZ
Please do. It’s not clothing optional,
but please bring the bongos.

MCCONAUGHEY

Clothing optional? Wait, oh! 

McConaughey sees he is starkers in front of a female firefighter. He runs off, apologizing, covering his behind-butt with the bongos. Munoz and Captain Peabody have seen it all and now a little too much.

MUNOZ (raised voice)
So, we’ll see ourselves out?

MCCONAUGHEY (Over his shoulder)
Yes! Thank you for stopping by!
See y’all tonight!

Munoz and Peabody leave. Once they are outside...

MUNOZ
Sir, when you said “brush inspection”
I thought you meant…

Good one. Captain Peabody belly laughs and Munoz smiles quietly to herself.

CUT TO

EXT. NEAR THE GUARD GATE DAY

Munoz and Captain Peabody are driving out in the squad, trying not to laugh until they clear the guard gate. 

As they drive past, Munoz waves to the Gate Guard.

GATE GUARD
Mi jefe esta un poco loco.

MUNOZ
El mio tambien. Adios.

Clear, Munoz and Captain Peabody crack up.

MUNOZ
I love this job. Everything’s okay until it’s...

CAPTAIN PEABODY

...naked. He said, “Tonight?”

Munoz shrugs. The Captain’s party is supposed to be a secret.

MUNOZ
Just a flirty millionaire movie star from Texas.
He’s married.

Munoz detours the subject, riffing off Monty Python & the Holy Grail.

MUNOZ (Cont)
How do you know so much about great white sharks?

CAPTAIN PEABODY

Well you have to know these things
when you’re a Captain, you know.

The squad waits for the barrier gate, then drives off.

CUT BACK TO

EXT. THE BACKYARD OVERLOOKING POINT DUME DAY

Back in the backyard, Matthew McConaughey (or Flea with a trumpet…) is still naked, standing on a wall overlooking the ocean, strafing the neck of an electric guitar at the ocean - gunning for that shark.  He strums a hard chord, a segue to the perfect theme for Malibu Fire: Los Angeles is Burning by Bad Religion: 

BAD RELIGION 

Somewhere high in the desert near a curtain of blue
Saint Ann's skirts are billowing
But down here in the city of limelights 
The fans of Santa Ana are withering
And you can't deny the living is easy
If you never look behind the scenery
It's showtime for dry climes 
And Bedlam is dreaming of rain
When the hills of Los Angeles are burning
Palm trees are candles in the murder wind
So many lives are on the breeze 
Even the stars are ill at ease 
And Los Angeles is burning

END OF TEASER AND CREDITS