Ben Marcus Rules

Think of the Laysan Albatross - aka Phoebastria immutabilis, aka Gooney Bird - struggling to take flight - or land: Awkward at first, but once it’s up and flying: graceful. That’s how Zinqué (zin-kæ) was for the much-anticipated opening weekend. Their attempt at a calm, quiet soft launch struggled a bit. They got swamped on the first night, and at one point had to shut down the kitchen.

Mais n'ayez crainte: Zinqué Malibu is part of a growing, beloved empire from WestHo to Scottsdale. They have a loyal, experienced, dedicated, talented staff, and there is every chance Zinqué Malibu will evolve into a beloved social center and eatery - in local terms, an alchemy of Beau Rivage, Old Place, Malibu Kitchen and Bui: Swellegant, social, sophistiqué, satisfaisant, successful.

And Rick’s Cafe Americain: Just as everyone who came to Casablanca for the waters passed through Rick’s, c’est le meme chose with Zinque: People come to Malibu for the waters and the weather and to do business. There are deals going down from fire pit to fire place: Dirty deals, movie deals. In a small town loaded with moguls and millionaires, Zinque is fast becoming The Place.

As seen from across the way at the Malibu Newsstand, the Restaurant Formerly Known as Granita (RIP 1990 - 2005) has been evolving into Zinque for at least a year, maybe more. The Deluge of 2022/2023 probably delayed things a bit - because winter construction in Malibu usually isn’t plagued by rain - and just the general obfuscation and confusion and red tape and hurdles of doing anything in Malibu held it up all through summer and well into fall.

As experienced by the employals of the Malibu Newsstand, the most common repeat questions asked by locals and tourists were:

1. Do you have a bathroom? Hurry!

2. How do we get to the beach?

3. Do you have Financial Times weekend with the insert?

4. Where are all the celebrities?

5. Why are cigarettes - and everything - so expensive?

6. What’s going in across the way and when does it open?

Question #6 was answered quietly on Saturday, the fourth of November 2023 when Zinque opened its doors to an eager, patient public. Conveniently and beautifully located, located, located in the Malibu Colony Plaza, in the long-vacant Location Formerly Known as Granita (RIP 1990 - 2015), Zinque had a very soft opening: No hoopla, no searchlights, no riots, no banners, no slogans. One day there were hands zipping around with implements of construction and trucks delivering supplies, the next the doors quietly opened for business.

And to quote Brad Pitt in “Inglorious Basterds:” “Cousin, business is a boomin’!”

As seen from the Malibu Newsstand around 10:00 AM on Saturday, noted curmudgeon/artiste Trevor Albert drove by and gave the coffee a thumbs up - and later admitted the coffee was gratis that first morning, but still good.

The proprietor of Malibu Newsstand was equally concerned and encouraged by the opening of Zinqué. Verifying his hopes and fears, some citizens took up precious parking spaces in front of the newsstand and without so much as a “How do you do?” wandered over to Zinqué. While others wandered from Zinqué over to the Newsstand to buy a Financial Times or Paris Match and ask for Blue Gauloises to get into the groove of this French fusion place.

After four hours of watching diners come and go, speaking of Michelangelo, Your Humble Narrator wandered over to check it out from the inside out.

The way it works now: Zinqué’s opens at 7:00 AM for breakfast and brunch, with guests ordering at the coffee bar and then sitting down for the goods to arrive. After 4:00 the tables are set for dinner service. 

This system is tried and tested at the other Zinqué locations in Venice, West Hollywood, Newport Beach, Downtown Los Angeles, Century City, and Scottsdale, Arizona. But will it work for the swells of Malibu? Time will tell. Folks do things different around these parts, not like them city rubes over yonder.

Walking in, points off for no hitching post for horses or electric bikes, but it was good to see a yellow Slippery When Wet pratfall sign showing they are heeding the Caveat Proprietor about those slippery tiles up front. Someone is going to wipe out when they get wet, and no one wants to do or see that. 

Inspired by misty, water-colored memories of all the Croque Monsieur that sustained us while surfing Europe in 1984 - raiding boulangerie, fromagerie et charcuterie from Biarritz through San Sebastian to Mundaka to Nazare to Lisbon and back to Mundaka - I was hoping to see Monsieur on the menu but was disappointed at first.  But on closer look, there it was, cleverly disguised under SANDWICHES as “FRENCH HAM aged Swiss cheese  $13”. 

As loathe as I am to pay more than $2 for gas station coffee at the Chevron, the “BAKLAVA LATTE espresso, pistachio milk, honey, orange blossom, cardamon $7” was too tempting. Served night and hot, it was right up there as flavorful as the Two Buz Buzz Mexican Hot Chocolate mixed with Sumatran Dark at the Chevron. 

Ordered the ham and Swiss with pommes frites which came out hot and crispy - the potatoes anyway, because I forgot to order the sandwich heated and melted and neglected to bring a toaster oven with me. It was tasty and not as massive as the huge gobs of Croque Monsieur we grinded back in 1984, but there was more to come.

Zinqué is clean and well lighted and shiny as a new Franc. Spacious and comfortable. The fire pit and fireplace will warm up movie pitches to come, there is a big TV for sports (see below) and award shows and presidential debates, and the sofas, seats and tables are comfortables. Especially those blue sofas with the footrests on the starboard side of the main room.

As for other amenities: The Former Longtime Verizon Employee Known to Some as Verizon John knows Internet like nobody’s business, and he approved the WiFi as first rate. There is a guest channel for Bohemian Writers and other WiFi tweekers who can’t get through a meal without loggging in.

Unlike Starbucks, Zinqué provides electrical outlets in the Bohemian back room for Bohemian writers.

The bathrooms are clean, well-lighted and spacious. They have like 20 rolls of toilet paper in a basket there and that’s like brown M&M’s for Van Halen - it’s all about attention to detail. This joint is first rate, but this is Malibu after all, loaded with small-town but worldly sophistos who know what’s good and won’t settle for less.

The soundtrack is nice - except for no Plastique Bertrand - and there is a large-screen TV which - in keeping with the EuroVibe of Zinqué - seems to only be for futbol/football/Fußball/fotbol/futebal/ pêl-droed matches and other sporting events from overseas.

(One night, a former co-owneress of The Clippers came to the bar to watch her former team play. The barkeeper politely told her the TV was only for European soccer matches. This is a woman for whom the word “Non!” is a foreign word and she might have been chuffed, but played it cool.)

Years ago Verizon John and I suggested to the owners of Broad Street Oyster that places in Malibu either take off like a rocket or fall off a cliff and the math is QAV = Quality, Atmosphere, Value. Zinqué had nice atmosphere for brunch - although points off for not having Plastique Bertrand on the soundtrack - but that atmosphere got denser after 4:00.

It was a cool and windy fall night and I was hanging at the other New Kind in Towen - Sparky’s Sports Bar - with German Tim watching USC get after it against Washington - a solid American gridiron football game which I interrupted to take advantage of the two hour, Happy Hour three tapas for $20 deal - a very good deal indeed.

Approaching Zinqué, it was tempting to sit outside on a fine fall night by the fire pit out front or the fireplace around the back, but went inside to a mob de foule. Mob scene. A feeding frenzy. Whatever you want to call it - the place was packed. Loud. Buzzing with talk, music, excitement. First night.

Word got out apparently, but news travels fast on Malibu’s Gucci Wireless. 

Walking in with Tim The German Guy I talked about how in my travels - no matter where you go in the world - there is always a German Guy. On a surf trip to Tonga with K Slater and T Carroll in the 1990s, we found The German Guy running a shockingly first-rate restaurant in an obscure corner of an obscure Polynesian kingdom. This place was serious about food - like Zinqué - and he served a serious bowl of French Onion Soup. Mémorable. Also mémorable was the French Onion Soup served at the bar at Beau Rivage (RIP 1982 - 2012).

With Tim the German Guy I came back to Zinque hoping for a mémorable bowl of French Onion Soup crowned with a thick wad of cheese needing a marlin spike to get through.

Found two seats at the U-shaped Bar in the Back - which is going to be like the bar at Old Place. I once told Old Place owners Morgan Runyon that the bar at the Old Place was the Internet of the 19th Century - where people sat in swift collision and listened in on each other and exchanged gossip and information. Scanning the menu, there was no French Onion Soup by any other name. But there were many other earthly delights on the dinner and tapas menu. 

But it was all for kinda naught because at around 7:47 one of the two bartenders - Krista - announced the kitchen was standing down because they were swamped and overwhelmed. That was good and bad news for Zinquė - good to be swamped on your very first night, bad to keep new customers waiting and have to tell people “Ne peut faire!” Word travels fast, etc.

As two women at the bar drank their drinks and made an emergency dinner reservation at Ollo for 8:30, Krista was sympathetic and brought out whatever the kitchen could muster. 

A GALLERY OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS FROM ZINQUE

From the main Sharing menu: “BURATTA AND SAN DANIELLE PROSCIUTTO toasted baguette $19.” 

And “BEEF CARPACCIO arugula, Parmigiano Reggiano $17.”

From the tapas menu: “MARINATED PROVENCE OLIVES AND FOCACCIA $7."

And as for the “PATE DE CAMPAGNE Poilane bread $10,” for you Monty Python fans who know your Monsieur Creosote: “They didn’t skimp on the pa-tay’!!”

After a brief stand down the kitchen opened back up but we were like Monsieur Creosote: We were stuffed. Couldn’t eat another bite but we got a good taste - if you will - of how this place is going to operate: Everything was first rate, fresh and excellent, even with a kitchen that was overwhelmed and walking the plank.

We girded ourselves for l’addition to be too bookoo, but for all of that and drinks it came to $91 which est raisonable for Malibu: The home of the $20+ burrito and the $98 Roasted King Crab with Uni or Shiso Serran and the $85 New York Strip Steak 14 oz. 

The tapas menu reads that for Happy Hour from 4 to 6, three tapas for $20. In the words of Spicoli: “Righteous bucks!”

Everyone knows that most of Malibu closes by 8 or 9 PM. Zinquė stayed open and rocking until well past 11:30, which is like 2:00 AM in more civilized places. A pretty big day for opening day.

Went to bed stuffed and satisfied and didn’t get up until the next morning, wanting to try the early breakfast and brunch on Sunday morning. As loathe as I am to spend any more than $2 for the gas station coffee at the Chevron, I was saved by noted curmudgeon/artiste Trevor Albert who flowed me a latte with pistachio milk that made me think of Granny from “The Beverly Hillbillies:” “This stuff is mean when it’s green!!!!” 

The croissant was heavenly, parfait, but pas assez, so I ordered the “CRISPY SUNNY EGGS WITH PROSCIUTTO parmesan, arugula, pesto $17”

Deb is an Australian woman who runs the store. We had met in Hawaii many years ago at the memorial for Brock Little (RIP 1967 - 2016). Deb asked if I liked poke and suggested the “NIÇOISE TARTINE Sicilian tuna, basel, tomato, egg, olive $15” and it was, like the rest of it, fresh, perfectly prepared, tres bon.

Tried this and sipped that and sat on one of those blue sofas and watched all the swells swell through. A lot of familiar faces, checking out the new kid in town.

The “three tapas for $20” was too good to resist, so came back Sunday evening to see how it was all flowing. Sat at the U-shaped bar again. With Krista again and this time two Pepperdine gals to the left.

Walking in, Emmanuel the Owner was playing a game out front I thought was bocce ball, but Deb corrected: Petanque, c’etais.

(I suggested they use the Petanque court for Cornhole, but that idea probably won’t go over too well.)

Verizon John choked trying to pronounce coq au vin properly and I told him to remember Sergeant Schulz from Hogan’s Heroes - he loved the stuff as prepared by LeBeau.

John managed to order it and then choked a bit more when it came out too dry. He sent it back and ordered steak frites - which were just right.

The three tapas for $20 is good value and Krista allowed me to order at 5:59 with one minute left in Happy Hour: “MERGUEZ SAUSAGE MEATBALLS two mustards mayonnaise $12” and “POTATO & CHEESE BRICKS egg, raclette cheese, gruyère and mint in crispy dough, horseradish crème fraîche” and once again, they didn’t skimp on the “PÂTÉ DE CAMPAGNE Poilâne Bread $10.”

For afters I ordered the “BERRY CRUMBLE ice cream $11” but it didn’t arrive and instead Krista flowed me the “MOUSSE AU CHOCOLAT  Valrhona Guanaja 70%, puffed buckwheat, calvados cream $13” which was a blessing. 

Like everything else, very good.

And now it’s Monday morning, and I’m sitting on one of those comfy blue sofa chairs, sneaking sips of that $2 gas station coffee, eating a chocolate croissant and an almond croissant I actually had to pay for myself. A Best Screenplay Oscar winner is outside talking to an internet billionaire. Trevor Albert is chatting with a gallery owner. One of Malibu’s 10,000,345 realtors just walked in, checking the place out. 

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it’s beautiful and so are the cute babies in strollers. Pretty girls everywhere. Older men with younger women and is that his daughter or something else?

Air kisses. Malibu.

I’m gonna ask Emmanuel the owner if it’s accent grave or acute over the é in Zinqué. And then beg the editors of Malibu Times to run this long, as there is a lot to say about a much-anticipated place.

Zinqué is vibing. It’s now, it’s wow, it’s social. Class and glass. Darkness and light. Sound and vision. All shiny as a new penny. From an understandably, slightly awkward gooney bird opening weekend, there is every possibility Zinqué will spread its wings and swan into a Malibu institution. It is clean and well lighted, the food is first rate: Quality, Atmosphere, Value.