INT. THE TESLA CYBRTRCK FACTORY IN AUSTIN - DAY

Syncopated drums and a deep, funkthereal, moody voice begins to sing We Want the Funk by Parliament Funkadelic - one of the funkiest grooves of all time. The song is five minutes 54 seconds so maybe that’s how long this viral video is.

This first bit is 11 seconds:

SINGER
Tear the roof off
We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker
Tear the roof off the sucker
Tear the roof off
We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker
Tear the roof off the sucker

Tear the roof off
We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker
Tear the roof off the sucker
Tear the roof off
We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker
Tear the roof off the sucker

That’s a lot of roof to tear off, because the the Tesla Texas Giga is a Texas-sized factory in Austin, Texas - a massive, thoroughly modern, 3,830-foot long x 1,164-foot wide, 10 million (!) square foot auto factory covering 3.3 square miles outside of Austin, Texas.

That deep, ethereal voice keeps singing and wants to tear the roof off the Mothah Suckah.

The first of several titles comes up:

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INT. THE FACTORY LINE - DAY

Two CYBRTRCKS roll fresh as Bluebonnets off the factory line and out into daylight. If this viral video is set at the Dallas Cowboys stadium then there could be a blue truck and a white truck. Blue/white both of them? Oh wait, they’re stainless steel. Skip that.

At 18 seconds, the horns and one of the funkiest bass lines of all time kick in.

To foreshadow the cheering tailgate partiers at Cowboy stadium, maybe there’s a throng of Tesla employees applauding and celebating as two more CYBRTRCKS roll off the line and depart to an eager, grateful - and very patient - world who believe in the Green New Deal.

ZOOM IN ON

Since this viral video literally sings the praises of the Front Trunk = Frunk - there could be a closeup of someone sliding a bass guitar into the Frunk. A shot that doesn’t give away much about the guitar or who owns it or its purpose. That’s all coming and it’s a surprise.

As the music continues there is a shot panning up over that impossibly massive factory and then looking north as the two CYBRTRCKS pull out of the factory and head north. Would be cool to feature the head and tailights somehow. Maybe at the end.

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EXT. OVER A TEXAS FOOTBALL STADIUM - DAY (NIGHT?)

This could be shot at the football field for the Dallas Cowboys or the Texas Longhorns or the Houston Texas or even at AggieLand in a pinch.

For this pitch, it’s AT@T Stadium, home of America’s Team: The Dallas Cowboys. There is a shot hovering high over another Texas-sized, thoroughly modern building - aka The Death Star - but now looking south in the direction of the Tesla Texas Giga factory in Austin.

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EXT. A PARKING LOT AT COWBOYS STADIUM - DAY

From the aerial overview of Texas stadium, the camera comes down to ground level. Similar to the parking lot at the Tesla factory, there’s a whole lot of tailgating going down. With the stadium looming in the background, the parking lot is a sea of blue and white, Dallas jerseys everywhere.

Also a lot of big supertrucks, Detroit power. Maybe the Cowboys are playing Detroit as a nudge to The Big Three.

At 19 seconds, the background singers kick in. This jibes with the mood of the tailgate party:

BACKGROUND SINGERS
You've got a real type of thing goin' down, gettin' down
There's a whole lot of rhythm goin' 'round
You've got a real type of thing goin' down, gettin' down
There's a whole lot of rhythm goin' 'round

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INT. IN A CYBRTRCK ROLLING THROUGH THE PARKING LOT - DAY

From the interior of one or both CYBRTRCKS there is a glimpse of the spaceship-like, spartan, much-glass roomy interior of a thoroughly modern, 21st Century electric truck. There are five people in the truck and maybe more, dressed flashy and sparkly and colorfully and funky. What’s going on?

The truck approaches the crowd and turns a lot of heads. Is this a space invasion? What the hell is that?

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EXT. TAILGATE PARTY AT ATT FIELD - DAY

Two CYBRTRCKS are rolling through the tailgate parties and no one knows what to think? What are these things? Are they electric? Is that a truck? What the hell kind of truck is that?

Some of the Suburban Carbon Cowboys standing next to their mega trucks throw raspberries at the CYBRTRCK: Electric!?!?! Weird! Pabst Blue Ribbon! The crowd is restless and curious and then there is a bolt of lightning or something else flashy.

The trucks stop and all the members of Parliament Funkadelic climb out of the the cab, the back, everywhere: George Clinton, Bootsie, the horn section, the backup singers. A whole lotta funky color and flash and energy.

There are a lot of them. They plug their instruments into the various charging ports - wherever they are. The CYBRTRCK powers the electric guitar, the bass, a keyboard, the microphones for the singers and the amplifiers and speakers.

The drummer is getting down with the get down in the back of one CYBRTRCK, George Clinton is singing from the back of the other. Maybe reaching the crowd old school with a yell-leader megaphone. A blue and white Dallas Cowboys megaphone.

At 37 seconds, the singer gets to the meat of the song. But for this idea, the end words change to “truck” and “frunk.”

GEORGE CLINTON
Oww, we want the Frunk, give up the truck
Oww, we need the truck, we gotta have the Frunk
Oww, we want the Frunk, give up the truck
Oww, we need the truck, we gotta have the Frunk

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EXT. THE FRUNK OF ONE OF THE CYBRTRCKS - DAY

As the singer and backups sing about wanting the Frunk, there is a shot of Bootsie Collins in full Cowboys-tinged regalia - and maybe wearing a Tesla hat - kicking it in the Frunk, popping his bass to beat the devil. The singers and dancers are right there with him.

PFunk magically appearing from two very futuristic CYBRTRCKS sends the crowd into a frenzy. Everybody’s getting down and getting funky as the CYBRTRCKS loaded with PFunk roll through the parking lot, headed for the stadium entrance.

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INT. AT&T STADIUM, HOME OF THE DALLAS COWBOYS - DAY

The stadium is packed with football fans. On the field, THE DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS are feeling it. They are getting down and getting funky to Pfunk wanting the funk, and the truck and the frunk. And they’re making it look gooooodd.

We spend a few funky, flirty seconds with the World Famous Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and then the CYBRTRCKS come blazing into the stadium strutting like proud quarter horses - and the crowd goes even more nuts. Maybe with some reservations. Electric? Naw!

PFunk are still getting down, getting funky as the CYBRTRCKS do a lap around the stadium.

Then one of the CYBRTRCKS peels off and heads to the 40 yard line, where it finds the fastest Dallas Cowboy - probably Tavon Austin, who ran the 40 at 2.34 during the Combine and is rumored to have run the 40 in 2.28.

Austin is running routes when the CYBRTRCK pulls up on the 40 and challenges him, silently, to a race.

Austin accepts the challenge and maybe Bootsie stands between the two playing his bass like Natalie Wood signaling the drag race in Rebel Without a Cause.

Or maybe it’s the Cowboy’s mascot: Rowdy.

Bootsie or Rowdy or Elon or whoever signals the start of the race and then turns and runs after them, like Natalie Wood signalling the Chicken Run - a cool shot.

As the race is going, there are titles explaining how Tavon Austin runs the 40 in 2.43 second or a top speed of 25.97 MPH, while - according to Chat GPT and/or Grok - the CYBRTRCK accelerates from o - 60 in 2.9 seconds, has a top speed of 120 MPH and runs the 40 in 1.65 seconds. (Could maybe have a cool graphic showing all the calculations.)

So the CYBRTRCK runs the 40 in 1.65 seconds and leaves that very fast human shaking his head about this 21st Century.

Electric!?!?!? Fast!

Ain’t fair, but looks cool. Both are very fast.

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INT. AROUND COWBOYS STADIUM - DAY

Maybe a subplot to this story could be that the meat and potatoes Texicans in the parking lot of the stadium and in the stadium ain’t too sure about an electric vehicle in a place like Texas - a state founded on gas and oil.

Ain’t Tesla oneathem California socialist/leftist/communist companies?!?!?!?

How to show the disdain for the CYBRTRCK at first, and how that distaste fades away as the CYBRTRCK shows its paces.

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INT. ON THE FIELD OF ATT STADIUM - DAY

Ever see that skit by Key and Peele where they spoof football players saying their names and what schools they went to?

There could be a spoof of this spoof, where the members of The 300 Club - the offensive and defensive linemen for the Cowboys who weigh over 300 pounds - introduce themselves and how much they weigh and/or how much they can bench press.

They currently are: Mazi Smith at 337 pounds + Tyler Smith at 332 pounds + TJ Bass at 325 pounds + Josh Ball at 320 pounds + Jonathan Hankins at 320 pounds + Matt Waletzko at 320 + Dakoda Shepley at 317 pounds + Tyler Biadasz at 316 + Earl Bostick Jr. at 315 + Chuma Edoga at 315 + Brock Hoffman at 315 + Zack Martin at 315 + Billy Price at 310 = 4157.

When Elon Musk was gearing up to fight Zuckerberg he said he weighed 300. Would Elon join The 300 Club or wave it off? Maybe hold out some loose pants to show he has lost weight?

Introducing all The 300 Club might take too long, but the football players grab a rope that is attached to the towing hitch of the CYBRTRCK. There is a tug of war pitting 12 gnarly, 300 pound men against one CYBRTRCK - and guess who wins?

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INT. THE SIDELINES OF COWBOYS STADIUM

We Want the Funk is 5:45 so this whole viral video could be just under six minutes, with the music playing in the background all the time.

Maybe now Pfunk are out of the CYBRTRCKS and playing on the sidelines, and they are joined by the Dallas Cowboys Rhythm and Blue Drumline - getting funky. George Clinton and Bootsie and some of the cheerleaders lead a marching band around the field, still playing We Want the Funk.

Maybe use shots of the the cheerleaders to break up the segments - because, why not?

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INT. THE 50-YARD LINE OF COWBOYS’ STADIUM - DAY

The CYBRTRCK has defeated the fastest with raw speed and the strongest with raw, torquey power = now what?

The CYBRTRCK has charging ports for the working man, it’s very fast and it has stupendous torque. But can it haul pounds and not just haul ass?

The members of the 300 Club line up to climb into the cargo area, and there is a counter showing their combined weights.

The CYBRTRCK has a cargo capacity of 3500 pounds and that fits a lot of The 300 Club.

The CYBRTRCK with The 300 Club crammed in the back drives around the stadium as the fans go berserk.

So: Speed, torque, cargo capacity. Is there a way to show off towing capacity? Maybe not.

Maybe there is a trailer with all of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders standing on it, and it tows them off.

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INT. AT&T STADIUM - NIGHT

Another shot of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders getting down, getting funky because… why not? They are dancing and then fall into line as the CYBRTRCKS drive out of the stadium and into the night. Maybe the Rhythm and Blue Drumline and others follow them, while the players blow off the distraction and focus on the game.

There is a shot hovering over AT&T Stadium at night and we catch a glimpse of the weird running lights of the CYBRTRCKS moving through the parking lot.

EXT. TESLA GIGA TEXAS - NIGHT

The vignette ends with the two CYBRTRCKS driving back to the Tesla Giga Texas factory. After a long day of showing Texas and the world what’s up.

Or to top it all there is a taste of the Tesla Drone Show with a giant CYBRTRCK hovering over Giga Texas. Elon likes to go big.

Maybe there is a quick shot of Elon Musk at the head of a long table hosting PFunk to a thank you party.

There is one more title card at the end.

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BABY GOT FRUNK

And if that works, how about Sir Mixalot, singing about the 100 cubic feet of cargo space in the back of that CYBRTRCK.

Kinda like this. It’s been done, but could be done again.

A country version of Baby Got Back, but with new lyrics.

BECKY AND FRIEND

Oh my God Becky, look at that truck

The cargo space is so big, it looks like

A normal truck but it’s an electric truck

But, ya know, who understands those electric trucks

I wouldn’t drive one, because

It won’t haul trailers or pull stumps

But that cargo space, it's just so big

And the frunk, it's like 14 cubic feet

I mean, wow, Becky, look

It’s just so… new! 

SIR MIXALOT

I like E Trucks and I cannot lie

You good old boys can't deny

That when a truck rolls up and it runs on amperes

And don't' stink up the atmosphere

You get sprung, want to pull some stumps

‘Cause this Etrucks built Ford tough

With horsepower and torque it’s stuffed.

Deep in the induction motor.

Electromagnet spinning a rotor

To drive is to believe

And wonder what else they got up their sleeve

Some good old boys tried to warn me

But not paying for gas makes (me, me so horny)

Ooooo it’s so exciting

You say you want to get in my Lightning? 

Well hang on hang on

Because the acceleration is frightening

Etc. Etc. Baby Got Back is the second best rap/funk song ever written.

And then there's the country boy, sitting there with his guitar and dog and girlfriend, singing sad songs because his truck drove off and left him.

Don't thank me.