Ben Marcus Rules

BLACK SCREEN

In the blackness, Captain Peabody is reciting Longfellow.

CAPTAIN PEABODY
How he heard the ancient helmsman
 Chant a song so wild and clear,
That the sailing sea-bird slowly
Poised upon the mast to hear, 

Till his soul was full of longing,
And he cried, with impulse strong,--
"Helmsman! for the love of heaven,
  Teach me, too, that wondrous song!" 

"Wouldst thou,"--so the helmsman answered,
"Learn the secret of the sea?
Only those who brave its dangers
Comprehend its mystery!" 

In each sail that skims the horizon,
 In each landward-blowing breeze,
I behold that stately galley,
 Hear those mournful melodies; 

Till my soul is full of longing
For the secret of the sea,
And the heart of the great ocean
 Sends a thrilling pulse through me.

FADE IN

INT. THE GUEST HOUSE - MORNING

As the echoes of Longfellow fade away, Cooper is asleep and then his eyes snap open. He looks a little puzzled, trying to decipher a dream where Captain Peabody was reciting Longfellow.

COOPER
How bizarre, how bizarre.

Cooper shakes off the dream then he raises his voice.

COOPER

Alexa?!? Where in God’s creation is my breakfast!!!???

This startles Ike sleeping in the room. He wakes up and barks: What’s up?

CUT TO

EXT. AN OVERVIEW OF THE GUEST HOUSE - MORNING

There is a shot of the spectacular morning Golden Hour from high in the hills over the Santa Monica Bay as the sun rises in the east. The ocean is blue and mirror-smooth and reflects a lot of blue sky. You can see across to Palos Verdes and all the way out to Catalina. The guest house is in a very nice spot.

BACK TO

INT. COOPER'S ROOM IN THE GUEST HOUSE - MORNING
There is a knock on the door.

COOPER (Lily von Shtupp-style)

Willkommen. Bienvenue. Welcome. C'mon in!

Rocky pushes the door open holding two cups of coffee. She offers one to Cooper who is thankful but hesitant. She knows her Blazing Saddles shtick.

ROCKY
Say where the white women at?

Cooper starts to sip the coffee and then stops and looks at Rocky accusingly.

COOPER
Is this Free Trade, shade-grown and bird friendly??!?!

ROCKY
Check, check and triple check.

COOPER
What kind of milk???!!!

ROCKY
Camel.

COOPER

Dromedary or Bactrian?

ROCKY
Dromedary, brother of mine.
Accent on dairy. As you like it.

COOPER
Okay then. I accept. Thanks.

Cooper sips the coffee while Rocky moves to the window to admire the view.

ROCKY
That is some view.


COOPER
You betcha. You working today at Chez Looney Tunes?

ROCKY
Nope, flying.

COOPER
Oh?

ROCKY

I made a friend. A friend with gear.
A Frenchman named Claude with gear. 

COOPER

A Frenchman?! A foreigner!?!?!?
Where’s my phone?!
I’m calling mom and dad right now!

ROCKY
Il est charmant.
A friend with gear is a friend that’s dear.
What about you?

COOPER
Gonna go learn the secrets of the sea.

ROCKY
Cool.

CUT TO

EXT. SADDLEBACK PEAK - DAY

CUT TO
EXT. A FANCY HOUSE ATOP SADDLEBACK PEAK - DAY

High on the highest peak overlooking Malibu, Rocky is gearing up with CLAUDE (30s) tall and handsome like Cooper (hmmmmm!?), fit and ready to fly. They both have paramotors, which are paragliders propelled by motors. It’s a beautiful, blue, perfect summer day and the view from Saddle Peak along the coast is spectacular. 

If Malibu Fire is engaging/indulging in Mansion Porn and showing off all the fancy houses in Malibu, then Claude is a wealthy, adventurous man who lives in the Lloyd-Wright house at the top of Saddle Peak. 

Claude leads Rocky through a very fancy house - designed by the talented grandson of the most famous of all American architects - to find two paramotors waiting in his backyard. Claude has TWO HELPERS who help them strap in, gear up and launch.

After a tour of a beautiful home, Claude and Rocky gear up and strap in and run forward and are up up and away.

CUT TO

EXT. SURFRIDER BEACH - DAY

Way down below at sea level, Cooper and Curren are also gearing up on the beach at First Point. They both have standup paddleboards. Cooper’s SUP is longer and wider than Curren's race board. 

COOPER

Last night I dreamed Captain Peabody was reciting poetry. 
That Longfellow fellow.

CURREN
Ruh roh, you might want to see someone about that. 
City of Malibu has psychiatric services.

Cooper looks out at the ocean beckoning him.

COOPER
The secrets of the sea.

CURREN
Let’s do this.

Curren pushes off from the beach, gets to his feet like a champ and starts paddling. Cooper is not so graceful. He pushes off the big board from the beach, is shaky and falls almost immediately. 

COOPER
I think I hit a rock!

CURREN (singing B52s)
It wasn’t a rock. It was a rock lobster!

COOPER
Dangit.

CURREN
You’re gonna be shaky at first but you’ll get it. 
You’re an athlete. A tall one though.
Low center of gravity helps, but you’ll get it.

Curren is circling and hovering as Cooper struggles to his feet and
gets a paddle in the water like a fledgling bird. He starts to move and groove.

CURREN
That’s it. The paddle is stability. Speed is stability. 

Curren and Cooper move away from the beach and start to drift towards the surfers. Dickie Remoura and two of the Butthead Surfers who destroyed the surf cameras react to the approach of the standup paddlers.

DICKIE REMOURA
When did this standing up nonsense start?

BUTTHEAD SURFER 1
Around Y2K.

BUTTHEAD SURFER 2
They should ban them at Malibu.
They banned bodyboards.

DICKIE REMOURA
They’re a menace to society.

Bulls in a china shop.

BUTTHEAD SURFER 1

Hey sweepers! Stay away from us on those things!
You’re dangerous!

BUTTHEAD SURFER 2
Yeah piss off! You’ve got a whole ocean.

Curren steers Cooper away from the surfers and speaks in his defense.

CURREN (Splash line)
Hey cut him some slack! He’s from out of town!

Curren and Cooper swing clear of the surfers, who are jeering and splashing water.

CURREN
Surfers suck.

COOPER
But you are a surfer.

CURREN
I love surfing, but a lot of surfers suck.
You’re a cowboy. Do you like all cowboys?

Cooper thinks about it, and shakes his head negative.

CURREN
Oh look what we have here. Timing is everything.

Curren and Cooper are up at the top of First Point just in time for the set of the day. 

CURREN
Stay here, I’ll be right back.

Cooper responds by falling off his board and as he is climbing back on, he sees Curren stroke into a nice wave.

COOPER
He makes it look easy.

CUT TO

EXT. OVER SURFRIDER BEACH - DAY

A drone shot, probably from Tom somewhere on the beach, showing Curren artfully standup paddling a nice, head-high wave at First Point. Like Laird, he makes it look good. He takes off outside of the pack of surfers and is going full steam when he hits the crowd all paddling for the same wave.

Butthead Surfer 1 and Butthead Surfer 2 both drop in - with prejudice - in front of and behind Curren but he weaves around both of them.

BUTTHEAD SURFER 1
Traitor! Get off that thing!
You embarrass me! You embarrass yourself!

BUTTHEAD SURFER 2

You’re better than this! You can surf!

Curren and the two Butthead Surfers perform a Menage a Trois as they ride the wave into the beach. All of this is captured by Tom with his drone.

CUT TO

EXT. TOM ON THE BEACH NEAR THE WALL - DAY

Tom is on the beach, working his drone, capturing Curren and the two Butthead surfers doing their weird little dance. Maybe Ulrick is with him doing yoga.

BACK TO

Cooper is outside, trying to keep his balance, getting the hang of a standup paddleboard as he watches all the action from behind. The backdrop view is great: The pier, the mountains, the dictator’s mansion and the breaking waves moving toward the beach.

BACK TO

Curren kicks out gracefully, stays on his feet and paddles back out the back to where Cooper is falling and getting back on and figuring it out. The Butthead Surfers jeer at Curren but he leaves them in his wake. He is a fast paddler.

BACK TO

Curren strokes up to Cooper who is getting back on the board for the hundredth time.

CURREN
Get back on that horse that threw you.

COOPER
You make this look easy. It’s not!

CURREN
You’ll get it. You’ll be surprised.

You’ll flail, then you’ll flow, bro.

Cooper is back on his feet and somewhat stable.

COOPER
Where to?

CURREN
Let’s cruise along the Colony,
see some movie stars or see what we can see.
(Singing B52s) Boys in bikinis! Girls with surfboards!

Curren waits for Cooper to get his balance and pointed right and then they head west, from First Point toward Malibu Colony.

CUT TO

EXT. IN THE AIR OVER FIRST POINT

(On the morning of 3/28/23 I heard and then saw two paramotors buzzing along Malibu Road at rooftop level and then flying along the Colony. They were hooting and hollering and it looked cool. That’s where this idea came from.)

Back to an aerial view but this time it’s not Tom’s drone, it’s what Rocky and Claude are seeing as they paramotor over Surfrider Beach. They are flying side by side but a safe distance apart. Cooper might be shaky on the SUP but Rocky is 100% solid flying a paramotor over Malibu.

CUT TO

EXT. DRONE’S EYE VIEW OF ROCKY AND CLAUDE

Tom has taken his drone up high to check out these two paramotors over First Point. He keeps a safe distance and buzzes them.

CUT TO

EXT. OUT AT SEA FROM THIRD POINT - DAY

Curren is flowing and Cooper is flailing but Curren is being patient.

Curren passes the time by cracking a dumb Jewish joke - the first of many, we will earn.

CURREN
Two Jewish guys are out swimming at Miami Beach.
Harvey and Sid. You heard this one?

COOPER
No. About to.

CURREN
Sid gets caught in a riptide and is drowning. 
Harvey says, “Sid! Can you float alone?” 
Sid says “Harvey! Is this the time to talk business!?!?!?”

Cooper laughs, and falls. Cooper comes back to the surface to find Curren is gone. His board and paddle are there, vibrating a little.

COOPER
He mocks my lack of skills.
And my shallow knowledge of the Secrets of the Sea.

Curren is down for so long Cooper looks at his watch and starts to worry when all of a sudden Curren emerges gasping for breath and holding a big red lobster in each hand.

CURREN (singing b52s)
Rock lobster!!!!! Lob-ster!

COOPER
Wow you are Aqua Man.
How long can you hold your breath?

CURREN
That’s what the actress said to the Bishop.
Or vice versa… Four minutes plus.

Curren rises up out of the water using his legs like a water polo player. He introduces the lobster to each other. Maybe he puts one to his face like Aliens.

CURREN
Ripley! Help me!

COOPER
Fresh mascots? You've grown weary
of Spiny Norman and Norma?

CURREN
Never! Can't keep these anyway. Not in season. 
When the Devil Winds start blowing, it's bug time.

COOPER
Bugs?

CURREN 
Lobster. Bugs is cool guy waterman speak
for Pacific lobster. Panulirus interruptus.

Curren is treading water like a water polo player and holds both bugs in front of him and sings to them.

CURREN (singing yet again)

Well I see you in September? Or looose you, to a better dude?
(Looose you, to a guy with gloves? Looose you, to a lobster trap?)

Cooper laughs and Curren releases the lobster gently. He watches them sink back to the bottom.

CURREN
Rock lobster!!! Down! Down! Down!

Curren smiles over his shoulder at Cooper.

CURREN
We go!

COOPER
What a strange person!

CUT TO

EXT. WITH THE PARAMOTORS OVER FIRST POINT - DAY

The paramotors circle over the pack of surfers at First Point, who wave and cheer and jeer or ignore them.

CUT TO

EXT. OFF THE MALIBU COLONY - DAY

Cooper is starting to get it and is flowing along as Curren waits for him. They are off the Malibu Colony beach.

CURREN
So that’s Malibu Colony beach,
where the rich and the famous live. 

COOPER
Where is Iron Man’s house?

CURREN
Well that house doesn’t exist.

COOPER
Yeah I know, it was destroyed by The Mandarin.

Curren looks back at Cooper and smiles.

CURREN
Oh so you’re an Iron Man man, is that it?
There's an MCU dork under the cool cowboy exterior

COOPER
Yep. My quest is to find a
Pepper Potts I can call my own.

CURREN
Well the Iron Mansion is fictional
but if it did exist it would be on a cliff at Point Dume.

Curren points west with his paddle.

CURREN
That’s about eight miles yonder and
probably too far for today.
We’ll go as far as we can until the wind comes up,
and then let the wind blow us back.
That’s the fun part. How are you doing?

Cooper is paddling along nicely.

COOPER
You’re right. It gets easier once you
get the balance and get moving.
I’m starting to flow, bro.

CURREN
Whoa. Atta cowboy.
Years ago, John McEnroe’s son
was paddling along here.
He got blown out to sea by the Santa Anas.
He lost his board, got it back,
lost his board again and barely got it back.
We found him clinging to a lobster float.
He was in deep kimchi, hypothermic.
We saved his bacon.

COOPER
I keep hearing about those winds
but haven’t seen them yet.

CURREN
In the fall you’ll see them plenty. In your face, bro.
September and October are the best times to be here.
The weather is perfect, until it isn’t.
You don’t want to be out to sea paddling
when that wind comes up. You’ll end up on Catalina Island
if you’re lucky. Hawaii if you’re not.

Cooper and Curren continue paddling west, along Malibu Colony beach. Cooper gives a tourist view of who lives where and what’s what. It’s a beautiful day.

COOPER
Wow the water is crystal clear. Nice!

Curren just feels like singing. He points into the water as he sings.

(Octopus’ Garden is on Sirius Beatles as I am writing this. How you like them apples? 4/10/23)

CURREN
Here comes a stingray
There goes a manta-ray In walked a jellyfish
There goes a dog-fish Chased by a cat-fish
In flew a sea robin Watch out for that piranha
There goes a narwhal Here comes a bikini babe!

Curren changes the lyric from “bikini whale” to “bikini babe” as they are both passed by a TALL LEAN GIRL IN A BIKINI paddling a racing SUP and speeding past Curren and Cooper.

CURREN
She mocks me. I like it!

CUT TO

EXT. OVER COOPER AND CURREN ALONG COLONY BEACH

From above, the Paramotorists are following behind Curren and Cooper, checking it all out from above. At some point, they veer abruptly off and head out to sea, Claude leading Rocky. They’ve seen something.

BACK TO

EXT. OFF THE MALIBU COLONY WITH COOPER AND CURREN

Cooper and Curren look up as the paramotorsists fly overhead and then veer off. Cooper waves his paddle and falls off his board. As he’s climbing back up he says.

COOPER
I think that’s my sister!
That’s Rocky! Hey!

CURREN
That’s Rocky? Really? She does that?

COOPER
Oh she’s a flier. Any way she can.
She’s more comfortable in the air
than walking around on land.

CURREN
That’s how I feel in the ocean.

Again, Curren starts singing. This time Led Zeppelin.

CURREN
Singing to the ocean, I can hear the ocean’s roar!
Play for me and play for free, play a whole lot more more!

BACK TO

EXT. IN THE WATER WITH COOPER AND CURREN - DAY

Cooper and Curren watch as Rocky and Claude fly out to sea, circle around and then come back to Cooper and Curren in a hurry. Curren senses something.

CURREN
Something’s bubbling.
My spiney sense is acting up.

Cooper and Curren watch as Rocky and Claude fly out to sea, circle around and then come back to Cooper and Curren in a hurry. Curren senses something.

CURREN
Something’s up.

CUT TO

EXT. OVER COOPER AND CURREN OFF MALIBU COLONY - DAY

Rocky and Claude descend as low as they dare to the two standup paddlers. 

ROCKY
Cooper! It’s me!
Hey go help that girl out there!!

CLAUDE
She’s in trouble! She needs you toute de suite!

From above we can see a LONE FIGURE standup paddling farther out to sea. She’s standing up, dropping to her knees, standing up, slapping the water with her paddle. What’s going on?


Rocky and Claude are circling Cooper and Curren as low as they can go.

 

ROCKY
Help her! Go!

BACK TO

EXT. ON THE WATER WITH COOPER AND CURREN - DAY

Cooper and Curren are looking up at Rocky and Claude circling and shouting, and then out to sea where they are pointing.

CURREN
Ruh roh.

COOPER
What’s up?

CURREN
Not sure, but I gotta bad feeling.
Catch up as you can.

Before Cooper can answer, Curren is gone in a flash, paddling out to sea at flank speed on his race SUP with the paramotorists escorting overhead. Cooper turns awkwardly and tries to get up to speed on his big board.

CUT TO

EXT. ABOVE A WOMAN ON A STANDUP PADDLEBOARD

From the angle of the paramotorists, we see A WOMAN ON A STANDUP PADDLEBOARD dropping to her knees, standing up and splashing the water with her paddle.

Rocky and Claude exchange glances. They don’t understand what is happening.

As they circle, Curren enters the scene on his SUP, going flank speed.

CUT TO

EXT. WITH CURREN OUT TO SEA OFF MALIBU COLONY - DAY

Curren is paddling as fast as he can, drawn toward the screams and shouts of the woman and the buzzing of the paramotors overhead. He also doesn’t understand what is happening as he sees the woman drop to her knees, stand up, slap the water with her paddle, and drop to her knees again.

And then as he gets close, he sees it:  A VERY LARGE WHITE SHARK is circling the woman, not quite attacking, but bumping her board, thrashing around.

CURREN
Whoa. Shit!

Curren looks up and around and back at Cooper who is slowly making way. Curren slows a bit, thinking about his plan of attack. Curren switches from jokey to serious and professional. He yells at the girl.

CURREN
What’s your name?

PADDLE GIRL
Misty!

CURREN

Stay cool Misty!
He’s not attacking you I don’t think. 
He’s just curious.

MISTY
Curiosity killed the cat!!

Curren smiles a bit, glad she’s staying cool enough to crack a joke.

CURREN
Just don’t fall in, okay?

MISTY
Oh thanks for the tip Captain Obvious!

Misty drops to her knees and looks up and around at the paramotorists and Curren and Cooper as Cooper approaches.

COOPER
What’s happening?

CURREN
Shark. Big one. White shark. 
Might be Miss July but it’s early for that.

Misty is on her knees on her paddleboard watching a big, black fin circling her. Cooper sees it too.

COOPER
Lordy mama look at the size of that fin.

CURREN
Size matters.

COOPER
What’s the play?

CURREN
Well it would be nice if your sister
could swoop down and skyhook her, 
but that’s not gonna happen so…. 
The book says, if a shark’s acting aggressive,
act aggressive back. I’m gonna go whack it
on the nose. That’s where all its sensor things are.
Lorenzini or something.
Captain Peabody would know.  You got my back?

COOPER
I guess I do.

CURREN
Don’t fall off. Let’s do this.
What we have here is a damsel in deep kimchi.
And Mr. Death with nasty pointed teeth.
Fuck! We go!

Curren guns it on his paddleboard and heads straight for Misty, while Cooper follows shakily from behind. Shaky from inexperience on the board and shaky from fear, because they are way out to sea confronting a ton and a half of white death with gnashing gnarly teeth.

CUT TO

EXT. OVER A SHARK ATTACK OFF COLONY BEACH - DAY

From above, Rocky and Claude watch Curren charge the girl on the board and the shark, which is still circling her, menacing her. Rocky watches with great concern as her brother wobbles into view.

The shark makes a pass along Misty’s 14-foot paddleboard and it’s about the same length, so this is an aggressive adolescent white shark - dumb and full of piss and vinegar. 

CUT TO

EXT. IN THE WATER WITH COOPER AND CURREN - DAY

Bravely, crazily, Curren paddles straight for the white shark and runs up on its back, whacking it with the paddle and with his fists, going for the nose and the Ampullae of Lorenzini. Cooper catches up and goes to steady Misty and get between her and the shark.

COOPER
You okay?

MISTY
Fuck no! You see that thing?
I’m pretty far from okay,
but glad you’re all here to join me in the fun.

COOPER
Hard to miss.

MISTY
I’m okay. Help your friend!
Give it lickens!

Steadied by adrenaline and fear, Cooper paddles to Curren who is whacking on the shark with everything he has. Cooper uses his paddle to beat on the shark, and the battle goes on until the shark has had enough and slips under the water.

Cooper looks up and sees that his sister and Claude are no longer orbiting. He looks around to see where they got to, and then he points out to sea and shouts at Curren.

CUT TO
EXT. ABOVE AN INFLATABLE BOAT OFF MALIBU COLONY - DAY

From above, we see an inflatable boat (or a PWC) with TWO PEOPLE ON BOARD, heading toward trouble at high speed. Rocky and Claude are shouting at the people in the boat and pointing. Here comes the cavalry.

CUT TO

EXT. IN THE WATER WITH CURREN AND COOPER - DAY

Curren and Cooper are adrenalized and both terrified and jazzed. They just punched out a 14-foot white shark and saved the bacon of a very scared woman. They are standing on their SUP flanking Misty who is on her knees and maybe praying a little. 

(Brock Little came back from JBay in the 90s and said he was out there when another surfer was getting circled by a white shark. He had his feet up and was praying)

They look up as the inflatable approaches. Curren knows the guys on the boat and so do we, it’s JONAH HILL and his pal, Oscar winner SPIKE JONZE  (Or maybe Colony resident ED NORTON or whoever Jonah Hill wants it to be). They’ve been fishing.

CURREN
Hey! Good timing. We got a situation here.

JONAH
She got jumped by a shark?

CURREN
Yes she did. Big one.

SPIKE
Miss July? Kinda early.

CURREN

Probably Miss July. This is New Guy. Cooper.
He’s from Montana and after this
he might be headed back there soon.

Jonah and Spike nod and wave “Hey” to Cooper who waves his paddle in return and almost falls in.

JONAH HILL
Whoa Nelly. Keep your powder dry!

SPIKE
Welcome to The Malibu.

JONAH
Howdy.

Jonah holds up two big, healthy bluefin tuna.

JONAH
Woo hoo! I got two!
That’s two, Utah.

SPIKE
I think he said Montana.

JONAH
Whatever. I got two and he got two, too!

SPIKE
BBQ at Double Zero tonight if you want!!

CURREN
Nice. (To Cooper) Bluefin are good eatin’.

COOPER
So I’m told.

MISTY
Sorry to interrupt your dinner plans but can
we get the fuck out of here please?

The four watermen break it up. Jonah helps Misty into the boat as Spike ties off her paddleboard with the leash. 

CURREN
Take her straight in. We’ll catch up.

JONAH
You don’t want us to watch your back? 
Miss July might want Round Two.

CURREN
We've got air cover. 
Miss July isn’t in attack mode. Just feisty.

COOPER
Wish they were A10s.
Those bad boys come in handy in times of trouble.

CURREN
Get Misty into the beach and come back for us.

Jonah and Spike say roger by gunning the inflatable and heading for the beach. Misty looks back and catches Cooper’s eye. She smiles a smile of gratitude with maybe some promise. Blows him a kiss?

Curren and Cooper pause for a minute and then start to paddle toward shore, staying close.

COOPER
That guy in the boat,
was that the guy from Wolf of Wall Street? 
Super Bad? That guy!?

CURREN

Yep, Jonah Hill. Lives in the Colony. Nice guy.
And the other guy is a movie guy. Spike Jonze.
He won an Oscar for Her.
He was in Three Kings. A bunch of stuff.

COOPER
This place is bizarre.
White sharks and movie stars.

CURREN
Love it. Never a dull moment.

As they paddle, the adrenaline starts to wear off and the reality kicks in.

CURREN
Fuck! That was gnar!

COOPER (Lily von Shtupp)
I feel refweshed!
I can’t believe you did that. 
I can’t believe we did that.

CURREN
Adrenaline’s a funny drug.

COOPER
What did we just do?

CURREN
We just got in a bar fight with a
14-foot adolescent great white shark.
And won! Saved that girl’s bacon.
We just saved a life, I think.

As they talk their heads are on a swivel, scanning for any sign of Miss July.

COOPER
You called it “Miss July?”

CURREN
Yeah well there’s a shark that seems to show up
not just in July, but the third week of July.

COOPER
Are white sharks known for punctuality?

CURREN
Truth is, they are.
They do a big migration from California
to the Central Pacific and sometimes
all the way to Hawaii for winter,
then they come back in spring and summer
and head up to northern California. 

COOPER
Secrets of the Sea. Miss July.
That girl Misty could be Miss July.

CURREN

I think she took a shine to you.
You were heroic. Chicks dig heroes.

COOPER

We both were.
I’ve done some crazy rescues in my day,
but that’s right up there.
Did you feel how powerful that thing was?

CURREN
Yeah, crazy powerful.
I know people who’ve been attacked and lived.
That’s what they all comment on - the power of it.

COOPER
That thing could have bit all three of us in half.

CURREN 
The truth is, that shark wasn’t attacking.
When they attack you don’t see it coming.
They just rocket up from the bottom and
somebody has a bad day. 
She was probably just curious or territorial. 
Basically telling that girl - Misty to beat it.

There is a pause, and then Curren sings again.

CURREN
Beat it! Just beat it!

COOPER

I like my leg, don’t eat it!

Cooper looks around and sees the paramotors and the inflatable far off in the distance. He feels alone and exposed.

COOPER (Lily von Shtupp-style)
I feel expwosed.
Is she… it… gonna come back? Sheit!

CURREN
No idea. Doubt it.
But let’s make like a shepherd
and get the flock out of here.

COOPER
I’m holding you up.

CURREN
You’re fine. Do you know what you just did?
That was pretty stable for a New Guy.

COOPER
Adrenaline is a funny drug.

Curren and Cooper paddle the last half mile to shore at Malibu Colony.

CUT TO

EXT. ON THE BEACH AT MALIBU COLONY - DAY

It’s all come together on Colony Beach. The inflatable is pulled up on the beach and Jonah Hill and Spike Jonze (or Ed Norton, or…) have brought Misty a towel or a robe to protect her. Other women are around Misty, comforting and talking to her.

Rocky and Claude have landed their paramotors and there are other people milling about. 

Brock and Cheese are on the beach rolling a custom four wheel drive electric beach golf cart - maybe a gift from Mr. Green. Brock and Cheese are on the beach with everyone else.

Cooper and Curren see all this as they approach on standup paddleboards. Curren catches a closeout wave and manages to ride it to the beach still standing.

COOPER
Hey wait for me! Don’t leave me out here!

CURREN
You got this. You’re flowing, bro.
Trial by fire. You passed.

Cooper looks over his shoulder.

COOPER
Secrets of the sea my ass.

Cooper gets hit by a wave and washes into shore. He gets wrapped up in kelp and struggles to carry the board up the beach as Rocky comes down to help him. They look at each other.

ROCKY
The creature from the green lagoon.

COOPER
Isn’t this that same kelp stuff you put on your skin?

ROCKY
We ain’t in Gopher Crotch no more.

COOPER
Boy howdy. Did all that really just happen?

Cooper and Rocky communicate with their eyes with looks of amazement, bemusement, relief, disbelief, humor. All the emotions that such an incident inspires.

There is some milling about and excited conversation among Curren, Cooper, Jonah Hill, Spike Jonze, Brock and Cheese, Rocky and Claude and other Colony residents and people on the beach.

Jonah Hill is kvelling about his fish.

JONAH HILL
It’s two for tuna Tuesday!

The scene evolves and sorts itself out. Brock and Cheese lead Misty into Beach Red and it rolls down the hard sand east toward Third Point. Jonah and Spike walk back up to their houses holding tuna in each hand (not their actual houses, of course).

The wind has come up allowing Rocky and Claude to relaunch their paramotors with help from others - Noll and Ulrick, Curren and Cooper, Captain Peabody and Munoz? - and take off and head east. 

That leaves Curren and Cooper at the water’s edge with their standup paddleboards looking verklempt. Curren smiles at Cooper.

CURREN
Only those who brave its dangers
comprehend its mysteries.

COOPER
I watch Discovery Channel.
I’ve watched Shark Week. I’ve seen Jaws.
Sharknado. The Shallows.
But man, you can’t appreciate how big
those things are until…

CURREN
Until you’re beating on the thing
and fighting for your life a half mile out to sea.

Curren holds out his fist and gets a fist bump from Cooper.

CURREN
Let’s head back, the wind is coming up
but how about we stay closer to shore?

Cooper hesitates. This guy really wants to go back in the ocean?

CURREN

Is there a problem?

COOPER
Nyet! We go!

There are several songs called Shark Attack or have those words in the lyrics - by Surf Punks, Split Enz, Wailing Souls, Ruby da Cherry.

I prefer Split Enz but I’m old. Curren burns off some more adrenaline by singing.

CURREN
Loves got teeth and she bites so hard
Leaving you for dead like a deadly shark
And she doesn't leave a lot to be saved
I was swimming in the harbour of your smile
Splashing in the ocean like a child
I didn't know what dangers lurked there
Just beyond the waves - Shark attack!

Well she chewed me up and she spat me out
I didn't want to meet a maneater Shark attack!

With Curren singing loud to release some tension and nerves, Cooper and Curren launch off the beach and head east, along Colony Beach, toward First Point. 

CUT TO

EXT. WITH LITTLE RED OUT OF THIRD POINT TO PCH - DAY

Maybe from the aerial POV of the paramotors, we follow Beach Red along Colony Beach, past the border fence, past the lifeguard tower, and up along the path that leads out of Malibu Creek State Park. Curren and Cooper tail far behind, headed the same way.

CUT TO

INT. LITTLE RED - DAY

Misty is in the passenger’s seat with a blank look in her eyes. Brock and Cheese are both concerned and amused.

BROCK
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln,
how was your paddle?

Misty laughs a little but the adrenaline is wearing off.

MISTY
Holy shit!

CHEESE
You okay? There’s an emergency medical center
just up the road if you want to get looked at.

MISTY

Physically? Not a scratch. Nothing.
Emotionally? Psychologically? I don’t know.
Damn it, I love the ocean. It’s where I find my sanity.
Now those things are gonna haunt me. 
Ever seen one of those close up?

BROCK
No thank you, but I’ve heard.

Little Red is now at the exit to Malibu Creek State Park at PCH. They are waiting for the light to turn green and turn left.

The Red Baron walks in front of Little Red and glares at Brock and Cheese and Misty.

Brock and Cheese both wave.

BROCK
What’s up, Baron?

RED BARON

That is not my name!

The Red Baron continues to walk off, glaring back at Little Red, shooting darts from his eyes.

MISTY
Who is that guy? I see him around.

BROCK
We call him the Red Baron.
No idea what his real name or if
he even remembers it.

CHEESE
He has some kind of accent -
Hungarian or Porkandcheese or something.
No idea.

MISTY
He’s not sane. You can see it in his eyes.

BROCK

Yeah he was attacked by a shark when he was you..
Oh, sorry man.

Misty punches Brock in the arm and they all laugh. They have turned left and are heading back to Station 00.

CHEESE
You are a member of a very exclusive club, sister.

BROCK
The “Oh my God! Something’s trying to eat me!” club.

CHEESE
Just gotta warn you.
I know others who have been attacked
and they say the worst part
are the nightmares after.
Some dudes have had a lot of trouble with it.

MISTY
Great, the two things I love most:
The ocean, and sleep.
Wrecked by a stupid shark.

BROCK
Coulda been worse.

CHEESE
Way worse.

MISTY

You know I wonder if…
There's no polite way to say this, 
but I’m experiencing women’s time right now
and I wonder if that attracted that shark. 
Miss July everyone calls it?

BROCK

Yeah we don’t know if it actually identifies as female.

CHEESE

And that stuff about blood in the water.
I don’t think so.
It’s vibration that attracts them
from what I’ve seen and heard.
It was you paddling and
the board and paddle vibrating, 
that’s how she… how it locked onto you.
Vibration.

MISTY
Vibration. Bad vibrations.
The two who rescued me…

BROCK
The short muscley guy
who sings too much is Curren.
He ain’t afraid a no shark.
He ain’t afraid a nuthin’.

CHEESE
The other tall guy is New Guy.
He was in Montana a week ago
punching out brown bears
or whatever they do up there for fun.
He’s new to all of this.

BROCK

Calls himself Cooper.
We don’t know his last name or first name
or other name or if he even has another name.

MISTY
They saved my ass.

Little Red continues on for a while with no talk. Cheese and Brock are both checking out Misty - with concern, nothing else.

BROCK
You sure you’re okay?

MISTY
No.

They leave it at that as Little Red drives back to Station 00.

CUT TO